Shiva, the destroyer. Shiva, the Jewish tradition of a period of mourning after a death (or a great loss, if no body is recovered). Shiva, the great teacher.
I feel like I should sit shiva tonight, because my true love is gone. I hope not gone forever, but he is gone. He has never run away from me as he did today. And I am left bereft, an agunah, married to a ghost while he drowns in a vortex of self-loathing.