An Honest Question

Seriously, what’s right in this situation? If you’re still in love with someone who’s now gone, should you not go out with other people? I think the answer to that one is clear…it’s all about full disclosure, right? Well, maybe. Because you can’t help whether the other person will develop strong feelings for you, and maybe you shouldn’t even start with them, to pre-empt a broken heart. Maybe.

Does that mean that you should just stay at home, alone, all the time? But on the other hand, does that mean that you’re essentially using the other person just for company? I hope not. I guess not. Is it wrong that I want to go out to see a movie, and that I know a person of the male persuasion who’s fun to be with and would be happy to go with me? Even when I’m still writing angsty, lovesick poetry about the last person I was (albeit briefly) with?

And that brings me to another question. Said person left me while we were having a wonderful time for the stated reasons that he didn’t feel as strongly about me as I did about him, and that he didn’t see himself marrying a woman who already had children. So there was no future here for him, and therefore the present had to stop. This was during a very early stage in our relationship, and he said that it would pre-empt our inevitably getting serious. Pre-empt my broken heart, I guess.

But it was too late. I was already completely smitten, and the broken heart has been very real and very painful. At this point, it’s gone on for three months, much longer than the one week (yes, I know, I understand, I fell too fast, too quickly, got that already) we were dating.

So, the question is, should I not date the new person of male persuasion because I also think that it’s likely there’s no future here? He’s a different religion, albeit very friendly towards mine. And that’s a major dealbreaker for me in terms of a future serious relationship. But the real reason is…well, I’m still in love with someone else. And is it fair to date someone new when I think there’s no future, because I can’t imagine that my feelings will grow to match what I’ve already felt?

A full circle of confusion that’s running around in my head. I guess this is the same dilemma everyone has, when starting something new after life has happened.


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